


"fuck me up fam"

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, also implied markson shipping, jungkook is still in high school, lots of swearing, lots of trash!!, the others at uni, the subjects they talk about in this fic are what go through my head on a daily basis, there is a mikayuu mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>basically how a conversation with bts (and a sneak peak of markson) at midnight goes down. i'm sure you'll figure out who's who. everything in this fic is basically trash, and what goes through my head on a daily basis</p>
            </blockquote>





	"fuck me up fam"

**Author's Note:**

> please leave comments! kudos are wonderful but i want to hear what you have to say about this fic!   
> (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_guysguysguysguysguys_

_**suga:** _

_the fuck you want i'm trying to sleep you hoe_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_stfu suga BUT GUYS I HAVE A DILEMMA_

_**double chim:** _

_oOOOoOoOOo what is it_

_**jin:** _

_hobi, jimin, you 2 should really be asleep, you have classes and cr*p tomorrow!_

_**double chim:** _

_did you actually just censor crap_

_**double chim:** _

_that's fucking hilarious oh my god you're such a mum_

_**kookie:** _

_mum's gonna look at my phone and see you guys swearing heaps please stoppp_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_oh how precious_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_BUT ANYWAYS_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_BACK TO MY DILEMMA_

_**suga:** _

_okay FIRST of all stop typing in fucking caps it's unnecessary_

_**suga:** _

_AND SECOND_

_**suga:** _

_SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT_

_**tAE:** _

_or do you mean shove it down your own throat?? 9;;_

_**tAE:** _

_fUCK_

_**tAE:** _

_I MEANT (;_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_9;_

_**double chim:** _

_9;_

_**r(d)a(nce)p monster:** _

_9;_

_**double chim:** _

_NAMJOOM BUDDY_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_AYE_

_**tAE:** _

_fuck you guys_

_**tAE:** _

_i want new friends_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_no u don't u love us_

_**jin:** _

_guys go to sleep honestly_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_CAN I FUCKING CONTINUE WITH MY PROBLEM NOW_

_**suga:** _

_no you lil binch_

_**kookie:** _

_hobi pleaaase stop swearing mum will see!_

_**suga:** _

_i honestly want to smack my head on a desk right now all i wanted was a fucking hour of sleep but nO you guys weren't having that were you_

_**double chim:** _

_HEY GUYS LET'S INVITE JACKSON AND PISS OFF YOONGI EVEN MORE_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_no do you have a fucking death wish_

_**double chim:** _

_but it'll be fun!_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_no if you want to sacrifice your dick sure but i fucking don't_

_**suga:** _

_PARK JIMIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF YOU LET JACKSON INTO THIS CHAT I WILL CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING DICK, BALLS, NIPPLES, FRY THEM, AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS_

_**kookie:** _

_guys i'm gonna get in so much trouble to i have to leave the chat bye sorry!_

_**kookie left the chat "fuck me up fam"** _

_**r(d)a(nce)p monster:** _

_party pooper_

_**tAE:** _

_ikr_

_**double chim:** _

_what a hoe_

__

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_okay i'm just gonna continue with my problem_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_how do people genuinely ship yuu and shinoa romantically_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_like they're such a brotp wtf_

_**suga:** _

_THIS WAS YOUR DILEMMA_

_**suga:** _

_YOU TEXTED US AT 12:46AM BECAUSE YOU WERE ANNOYED ABOUT A FUCKING SHIP FROM A FUCKING VAMPIRE ANIME_

_**jin:** _

_jungkook's mum is right, you guys swear too much!_

_**double chim:** _

_of course you'd say that you're the mum of this friendship group_

_**jin:** _

_oh shut the fuck up jimin_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_MUMMY SWORE_

__

_**r(d)a(nce)p monster:** _

_OMG I'M GONNA TELL JUNGKOOK'S MUM SHE WONT APPROVE OF YOU SWEARING AT YOUR CHILDREN_

_**tAE:**_

_mummy's gonna tell DADDY_

_**double chim:** _

_but who's the daddy_

_**tAE:** _

_namjoon_

_**r(d)a(nce)p monster:** _

_uM_

_**r(d)a(nce)p monster:** _

_nO_

_**double chim:** _

_uM_

_**double chim:** _

_yES_

_**tAE:** _

_SHIPSHIPSHIP_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_guys no pls_

_**double chim:** _

_fight me yes_

_**jin:** _

_tbh i wouldn't mind sucking namjoon's dick_

_**r(d)a(nce)p monster:** _

_UH JIN NO THANKS I'M COMPLETELY STRAIGHT_

_**double chim:** _

_straight™_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_oi chim i think it's safe to invite jackson because i think suga's asleep_

_**double**   **chim:**_

_yes m8_

_**tAE:** _

_oh fuck yes_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_should we invite mark too_

_**r(d)a(nce)p monster:** _

_MARKSON_

_**double chim:** _

_we'll ask when we invite jackson_

_**double chim added jackson wan(ker)g to the chat "fuck me up fam"** _

__

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_HEYHEYHEYYYYYYYY_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_GUESS WHAT_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_I JUST FINISHED AN ANIME AND I FEEL LOST WITH MY LIFE_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_OOOOooOoOOOoOoOOOOOO WHAT ANIME_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_OWARI NO SERAPH_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_HOLY SHIT I JUST FINISHED THAT ANIME TOO_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_MIKAYUU IS DESTROYING MY LIFE_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_ughhhh they're so cute but angsty and i love_

_**tAE:** _

_okay i sense a very vERY gay ship_

_**suga:** _

_i swear to fucking god_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_FUCK_

_**suga:** _

_that's right motherfucker, i'm actually awake_

_**tAE:** _

_OH SHIT_

_**double chim:** _

_hobi you fucker this is your fault_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_what_

_**suga:** _

_i'm gonna punch you all and steal all your rice_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_SUGA PLEASE NO_

_**tAE:** _

_YOU CAN HAVE ALL MY HAIR DYE_

_**double chim:** _

_that's a pretty big offer_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_what the fuck did i do to get my rice stolen_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_i left for 2 minutes to get a glass of milk_

__

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_mILK FIC HAHAHAHHAHAHHA_

_**suga:** _

_how did i even get these friends i want to cry_

_**suga:** _

_i didn't even give consent for wanker to be here_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_r00d_

_**suga:** _

_fuck off_

_**tAE:** _

_sugamama ur not hyung shush_

_**jin:** _

_okay now i'm legitimately confused why you swear so much_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_same_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_wai t_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_WHERE IS MARKIEPOO_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_that's such a sappy name wtf_

_**double chim:** _

_aWWWWWWWW I SHIP_

_**tAE:** _

_SAME_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_extreme gays_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_calm your tits it's just a nickname_

_**jackson wan(ker)g  added markiepoo(h bear) to the chat "fuck me up fam"** _

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_MARKIEPOOOOOOOOO_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_um_

_**markiepoo(h bear)** _

_why am i in this chat??_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_because you're a cute trashbag who needs more outgoing friends_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_but you're already outgoing enough you shit_

_**double chim:** _

_SHOTS FUCKING FIRED M8_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_daaaaamn (daniel)_

_**double chim:** _

_i will shove his fucking white vans up your fucking asshole_

_**suga:** _

_i second that_

_**tAE:** _

_same_

_**markipoo(h bear):** _

_i get invited to this chat and **that** is one of the first things i see_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_okay but i didn't say it so just stay in the chat_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_wow so desperate jackson_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_where the fuck did you disappear off to_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_i needed to take a piss_

_**double chim:** _

_well you could have told us goddammit_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_binch is it that important to know that i have bodily fluids that need to escape out of my dick_

_**double chim:** _

_well yes i'm nosey as fuck if you didn't already know_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_i honestly regret befriending jackson because i get dragged into all this pointless shit_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_markiepoo no pls love me_

_**double chim:** _

_OOOooOoooO i have a theory_

_**double chim:** _

_wanker said r00d to suga but not to mark so they're dating_

_**tAE:** _

_that's logical and simple_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_i mean they seem pretty gay already so seems quite true_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_what did i do to deserve the nickname wanker_

_**suga:** _

_it's in your fucking name so you brought that burden onto yourself_

_**jin:** _

_i tried so hard to go to sleep_

_**jin:** _

_i feel your pain suga_

_**double chim:** _

_let's invite kook back_

_**double chim added kookie to the chat "fuck me up fam"** _

_**kookie:** _

_nooooooooooooooo_

_**kookie:** _

_you guys swear too much_

_**tAE:** _

_tru_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_i hate my life jackson why_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_no you don't you love your life because i introduce you to new people and love you_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_GAY AF FUCK ME UP THE ASS_

_**tAE:** _

_nah jin will do that for you_

_**tAE:** _

_(;_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_you little bitch_

_**jin:** _

_okay i said hypothetically i'd suck his dick but i'm not actually sure if i would_

_**tAE:** _

_i dare you to_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_THERE IS NO CONSENT HERE_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_CONSENT IS KEY_

_**jin:** _

_watch out namjoon you're gonna get some_

_**kookie:** _

_guys i'm barely legal stop corrupting my innocent ears!_

_**double chim:** _

_innocent?_

_**double chim:** _

_you have seen me jERKING OFF_

_**double chim:** _

_YOU ARE NOT INNOCENT_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_i bet you two fucked after jungkook saw you all laid out on your bed screaming his name_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_uHM_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_that was extremely unnecessary hobi_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_no it was needed_

_**suga:** _

_i want to die_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_i can see why_

_**jin:** _

_we have to put up with this every night you know_

_**kookie:** _

_and i have to put up with lectures from my mum every morning_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_then put the chat on mute???????????_

_**kookie:** _

_wait when tf did you get here jackson_

_**tAE:** _

_DID I JUST HEAR HEAR KOOKIE SWEAR_

_**double chim:** _

_*applauds*_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_*joins in*_

_**jin:** _

_you guys are such bad influences stop_

_**suga:** _

_that's what we take pride in **mum** so don't judge our life choices_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_fuck guys it's 2am_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_i have a class in 4 hours_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_but i also just had 3 cups of coffee_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_WELP IMA TRY SLEEP GUYS BYE_

_**suga:** _

_who the fuck has classes at 6am_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_jackson apparently_

_**suga:** _

_that was rhetorical namjoon stfu_

_**kookie:** _

_i should probably go because i have an early class too bye pls don't swear so much just in case mum finds a way to hack my phone because she's done it before_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_your mum is a savage i love her_

_**markiepoo(h bear):** _

_well since jackson's gone i don't particularly have a reason to be here, so bye guys ((:_

_**jin:** _

_i'm leaving too because i can't put up with your shit anymore_

_**tAE:** _

_everyone's leaving ughhhhhhhhh_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_BITCH I'M STILL HERE_

_**double chim:** _

_ME TOO_

_******r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** ** _

_me too but imma leave and get some more milk then sleep bye fuckers_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_oh and jimin_

_****double chim:** ** _

_what_

_****r(d)a(nce)p monster:** ** _

_i hope you have fun fucking jungkook_

_**double chim:** _

_uHM_

_**double chim:** _

_tbh i would actually have sex with kookie though he's pretty damn hot_

_**tAE:** _

_a new ship_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_gay_

_**double chim:** _

_i am so bored now ugh_

_**tAE:** _

_same_

_**tAE:** _

_wait no i'm gonna start watching owari no seraph it looks fucking great_

_**double chim:** _

_oo let me join you i have ramen noodles_

_**tAE:** _

_fuck yes hurry up_

_**double chim:** _

_bye hobi u hoe hahahhaha_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_you fucking shits you left me alone cri_

_**suga:** _

_hey hobi_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_fuck what do you want_

_**suga:** _

_i'm still planning to cut off your dick._

_ **END** _

_** bonus-  ** _

_**jackson wan(ker)g:**_

_hey markiepoo i have a present for you tonight (; see you later gorgeous_

_**jackson wan(ker)g:** _

_OH FUCK WRONG CHAT_

_**jackson wan(ker)g left the chat "fuck me up fam"** _

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_oooooooooooooo_

_**ho(e)bi:** _

_also guys i have another dilemma_

_**suga:** _

_fuck off._

 


End file.
